Ruined Salvation
by Cicero-Phelps
Summary: Alternate History...what if they LOST during Force of Arms? Rick is discovering what has changed within him out in space...what happened, and what will he do next?
1. Hold the Line

Ruined Salvation

An Alternate History of the Robotech Universe

_By Cicero Phelps_

It all started to go bad before the first notes played.

Rick realized belatedly that he should have monitored his flight leaders better; most of them, although experienced, were also greener than fresh spring grass, and still had a tendency to get jumpy when the enemy engaged at close range.

Captain Gloval had ordered radio silence to prepare for Minmei's broadcast, and, as such, Rick couldn't offer his standard cautions to the group. As they approached their pickets, Rick thought, but couldn't be certain, that Gold Group's lead element opened fire without orders, prompting a massive return salvo from the Zentraedi battlefortress.

On his first experience observing the Zentraedi fleet, Lisa and Rick, along with Ben Dixon, witnessed the destructive firepower of a fully armed and operational death-dealing factory. They tried to convince Earth's leadership to negotiate an end to hostilities with the Zentraedi.

In that, they failed.

That failure led, inexorably and irrevocably, to the present, which snapped him out of his reverie, and back to the present. A huge green wave of energy came at them, the Zentraedi's opening salvo. Rick glanced back; the SDF-1 communications tower was damaged, and Breetai's bridge was destroyed. Rick shook his head in horror, but scanners confirmed his death.

Azonia and Gloval took their ships to the fore of the line, intending to get between the Zentraedi pickets and Dolza's ship. Rick took the fighter wing in ahead of them, trying to be the tip of the spear aimed at the heart of the Zentraedi menace. "Hunter, once you're past the defense line, take your fighters in and destroy the Zentraedi ship to ship at close range. If you get in that close, it will be difficult for their gunners to hit you without damaging their comrades."

"As ordered, Captain. How's the short range broadcaster?"

"Commander Leeds is still attempting repairs. But you need to buy her some more time. Engage at point blank range and destroy as much as you can."

"Engaging, Captain. Skull Group, Gold Group, we're the tip. Hammer everything you see that's not a friendly. Aces High, Blue Group, and Gray Group, spread wide, exploit the gap and finish what gets by us."

He heard agreements, then swapped to Skull Squad's frequency. "Max, Miriya, form your elements up on Attack Pattern Delta. We hit the center of their line and spread like a firework. Concentrate on the communications relays and command cabins. If we hit them there, their ships will fail."

"Agreed, Rick," Miriya replied.

"Let's do it, boss," Max echoed.

The laser fire was thicker than a hornet's nest in full fury, the lights nearly blinding us as we flew into the teeth of the thickest fight we had ever seen. Rick, himself, had grown up watching newsreels of the GCW, and had never seen anything that fierce even then. He jinked and juked all around, dodging missiles and laserfire, and the shrapnel from the damaged craft around me started denting my armor enough that he had to seriously worry about not being able to function in the battle. "Skulls, fireburst, high noon. ATTACK!"

He led his element in a high climb, rolling and side-slipping to discharge his weaponry at the nearest comm tower. It glowed bright orange and white with the heat of expanding energy and distorted into fiery shards. He pulled out of his strafing run and took a pass at the command center at the front of the ship, targeting the bridge window and hoping that the glass would do some damage against them.

Suddenly, he had to make the squadron dance around to avoid the capital ships that flooded the area. Azonia's fleet and the SDF-1 closed the gap and started tearing holes in the Zentraedi main battle fleet. Salvos from large cannonades ripped metal plates into liquid matter and then cooled the melted liquid into perfect droplets. Rick's sensor board beeped, showing that his target's shield system was failing. He looped around and led his element towards the next target.

All of a sudden, the comm channels lit up with a familiar voice. Minmei's song started playing, and they cut the chatter to let that play out. Then, in the aftermath of a missile barrage, a sudden shriek of pain rang out.

"Hunter, Minmei's been killed; the missile barrage took out the transmitter and the stage she was standing on. We're patching a hole in the containment field, but with the pounding we're taking, we may not survive much longer."

Rick grit his teeth; this was turning into one hell of a nightmare, and very few options presented themselves at that moment. His sensors beeped again. "Captain, my scanners indicate that Dolza's ship is suffering severe damage in its lower left quadrant. Should we focus our attacks there, to maximize our efforts?"

"Exploit the gap, Hunter."

"As ordered, Bridge."

Rick glanced at his squadron board. Two thirds of Skull Group and more than three quarters of Gold Group had been erased from the board, and the trailing squadrons didn't fare much better, either. All in all, he had between three quarters and two thirds of his original strength, and they all had less than half the original weapons load as well as damage corresponding to well over half of their fuselage. The gap in Dolza's ship was tiny, by Zentraedi standards, but could be successfully exploited by a squadron or two of VT fighters.

Rick formed up the survivors on his wing. "Okay, guys. This is it. Form up behind me, we'll break through that gap, blast a hole large enough for the SDF-1 to get through, and end this thing."

Another missile barrage came through, wiping out another half squadron. Rick led his men in, island-hopping from large cruiser to battleship, and avoiding the large cannons of Dolza's fortress. The squads took strafing runs at their huge, ample targets and softened them up for the cruisers that followed them in. Of course, even the destruction and crippling of a mere half dozen ships means nothing against a force of over a million vessels, but Rick and his pilots did what they could to clear the way for the SDF-1 and allied Zentraedi vessels.

Rick took his element in close; fifty klicks remained between his fighter and the hole in Dolza's fortress. He finished his pass at a disabled battlepod, and looked ahead at the target spread before him.

**_WHAM!_**

He took a tumble, spinning on all four axes. "Computer, what's my status?"

"Power grid at zero. Weapons grid at zero. Aft stabilizers down. Radiation leak in cockpit. External communications damaged. Life support failing."

Rick sucked in a deep breath and let it out through clenched teeth, trying in vain to check his anger. "Not like this," he said, frantically. "Not like this. If I'm going down, then I'm taking you bastards with me!"

He aimed his VT at the heart of the gap. "Max, take command. I'm going to do something that I never thought I'd ever do."

"What's that, boss," Max asked, his voice shaking.

"Afterburners set for full velocity ram on my mark. Mark!"

He rode through volley after volley of incoming lasers, cracking his cockpit glass and taking his wings apart bit by bit. He braced against the impending collision as the gap grew larger and larger against his vision. After a few seconds, only bright blue light could be seen.


	2. The Wreck of the SDF1

Chapter II 

"Captain, there's something you need to see here."

Henry looked up from the map he was studying; the sensor readings and radar signals that controlled the battle were voluminous; thankfully, Exedore used his superior processing skills to assist him in plotting new points of resistance. "What is it, Kim?"

She passed him a headset. "You may want to take this privately, sir."

He nodded absently and adjusted the set. "This is Captain Gloval."

"Captain Gloval, Rick is dead," Max said.

Henry staggered as if he took a punch to the stomach. The bridge crew looked at him in an odd manner. He stammered out. "What coordinates?"

Max replied, "Aleph Romeo Tango three, three, two, one."

Henry shouted the coordinates to Vanessa, adding, "Scan that area for wreckage and possible survivors. We can't do anything to help now, if he is still there…but we want to make sure one way or another."

Vanessa bent furiously over her station, scanning away. Henry took the headset off and said, "Commander Sterling."

"Aye, sir?"

"Take the remnants of the air wing and try to make it through the gap where Commander Hunter went to. Hammer it home. Exedore tells me that if we concentrate enough firepower there, the shield will collapse and we can take the fortress out from within."

"Agreed Captain. Can we call on the Alaska Base Air Wing for support?"

"They're tied up keeping the battlepods off your six. Throw everything you have remaining against that shield. We'll follow you in to exploit the gap."

"Understood, Captain."

Henry watched as the fighters formed up; he saw electrical discharges cascading across their hulls, and the sun's distant rays glinting off the metallic finishes. They engaged the shield, just as incoming fire sent the bridge crew hurtling toward the deck. Henry grabbed at a railing to stay upright, but the rest of the crew was not that fortunate. Kim's chair rolled towards the port side of her console and ran into the doorframe; Sammie flew halfway across the deck and into the far wall, Claudia tried ducking and trying to avoid the sparks from her console, and Vanessa fell to the floor and rolled into the captain's chair. The SDF-1 started to list to port, drifting down and away from the line of battle.

Henry raced to the helm, but the controls were unresponsive. He shouted, "Engineering, I want a full thrust from port afterburners for thirty seconds to stabilize us. Beginning on my mark. Mark!"

The huge ship began to come back into the assault line, and just as they swung back into place, Azonia's flagship took a huge barrage of laser fire. The girls scrambled back to their posts and were totally speechless. "Captain…"

"No need to tell me, Claudia," he replied grimly. "She's dead."

"And Khyron has joined the battle, sir."

"Good. Tell him to…"

"Not good, sir. He's striking hard at our rear flank."

Henry sighed, resignedly. Battlepods were swarming the decks, overrunning the Destroids on the main deck, the helm controls were shot to hell, and their flanks were being overrun. The main cannon was almost charged, but still had a few minutes left to get fully ready. Max's fighters were pinging away at the shield, but the holes weren't growing fast enough for them to take advantage of them. "Full acceleration towards Sterling's fighters."

The big ship began to move forward, and the fortress ahead began to loom large. The weapons console indicated that the main cannon was ready to fire. "All hands, brace for impact. Fire the main gun."

The main cannon fired, eliminating the shield around Dolza's fortress, and all the ships moved forward to concentrate their forward batteries. The incoming enemy fire was getting intense, and the ship was starting to break apart at the bulkheads. Henry looked up and saw that the fighting was getting more intense than he realized. The damage reports from all squadrons indicated that defeat was imminent. He resigned himself to death a long time ago, but hated the thought that all of his crew would perish alongside him. "Intensify the forward batteries; I don't want anything getting through."

"Aye, captain."

Suddenly, a spinning battlepod came whirling its way towards the bridge. Henry glanced and saw that the forward firepower was not concentrated and screamed, "Intensify forward firepower!"

"Too late," Claudia screamed.

The bridge crew leaped for the door, to get to the auxiliary bridge or the escape pods, but a grinding noise and sudden vacuum stopped them in their tracks, while the pod crushed them to the floor. Shortly thereafter, the SDF-1 exploded against the Omni Directional Barrier of Dolza's ship and ceased to be.


	3. Earth's final surrender

Chapter III 

Inside her command bunker in Alaska Base, Commander Lisa Hayes was stressed out. She wasn't supposed to be commanding this section, the fire control room for the North American sector, but a falling beam just killed the ranking officer, a Commodore Skinner, during that last barrage they absorbed. Half the controls were shot, sparks and falling wires filled the room, and she and her fellow officers looked as if they had been fighting a fire for the past six hours.

"Engineering," she snapped.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Give me a reading on the power grid. Sensors?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"I want a full threat assessment. Three hundred sixty degree profile of all craft, friend and foe. And I need a full list of our losses, as well."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Weapons?"

"Aye, Commander?"

"What's your status?"

"Half our guns are down, screens are dead, and targeting computers are operating at minimal effectiveness."

"What about the air fleet?"

"They're taking severe casualties. I could put the battle on the main monitor, if you desire," the communications officer spoke up.

"Make it so," she snapped.

The screen filled with shots of huge Zentraedi battlecruisers trading broadsides, as VT fighters zipped in and out among the flotsam and jetsam of space combat. Suddenly, she sees a huge bolt of light graze Skull One, sending him spinning in all directions like a wild top on a glossy wood floor. Lisa felt like someone had sucker-punched her in the gut, and had to grab at the nearest desk to keep from hitting the floor.

If she thought that that visual was bad, she was completely unprepared for the next event, as she witnessed Rick's fighter hurtling towards Dolza and disappearing in a flash of light. She fought back tears as Khyron's division slammed into the SDF-1's rear flank and it disappeared in a suicide ram against the main Zentraedi fortress. "All batteries, fire at will. Target everything the enemy has, I don't care what you hit," she screamed, her voice thick with hot saliva and choked tears.

"Aye, Commander," came the voice of the gun crews.

The laser light barrage that the base put out was enough, under normal situations, to annihilate a small squadron of battlepods. This battle, however, was far from normal. The barrage took out a small division of the Zentraedi pilots, but did not damage the battleships that continued to rain down death and destruction upon the globe. "Fire Control Base Theta to Control Bunker Aleph. Come in, Admiral Hayes."

"Lisa, is that you?"

"Yes, it's me. Can we fire the Grand Cannon?"

"We've got enough in the tank for another shot, without having to build up more energy reserves."

"I've got their flagship in our line of sight over here. Can you release the targeting controls to my gunners?"

"Done, Theta Base."

"Good," she said, and turned to her gunners with a feral look.

"Target that flagship. Add in all ground batteries. I want that ship dead yesterday," she snarled.

"Aye, Commander Hayes," they replied in unison.

The second volley into space shook the Zentraedi flagship to its core, melting plating and viewports into liquid droplets, which cooled once more into tiny asteroids. Dolza and his high command were no more, but the fleet still surrounded Earth, and unleashed another punishing bombardment, one which rocked Alaska Base to it's cold, icy core.

Static filled the comm. lines between Base Theta and the command bunker, so Lisa pulled out her private comm. link and tried to raise her father. "Theta to Aleph. Come in Aleph."

Just then, the base PA system came online. "This is Admiral Hayes. I've just received word that our military base on Mars has just fallen to the Zentraedi advance. With its loss, and, thus, the elimination of any possible flanking maneuver, I, and the remaining members of the High Command, are forced to conclude that this battle has become a forgone conclusion, and that we cannot win. It is therefore decided that we must evacuate this base and continue the fight elsewhere.

"I ask that all fighter pilots meet me in the main hanger, and all base personnel proceed to the flight deck. That is all."

Lisa locked in the targeting computer on the nearest Zentraedi battleship and set the firing control for continuous fire before she joined the rest of her section in proceeding to the transports. As her rage and blind fury slowly subsided, she felt empty and resigned, hopeless beyond all reason or logic. _Rick, dead? He can't be…_ But in her heart, she knew it to be true, as much as she tried to fight it and deny it. She marched slowly and immune to all sensation to the flight deck.

Once she got there, her father pulled her aside gently and hugged her tight, trying to dry her tears and comfort her from her losses. "I'm sorry, Lisa; I know how close you had become to them all."

"Thank you, daddy. I appreciate that."

He pulled away slightly and very reluctantly to announce, "I have an announcement to make. By decree and agreement, the Joint Chiefs hereby do promote Commander Elizabeth Hayes to the rank of Admiral, effective this date and time."

The crowd gasped, and Lisa's shock set in slowly. A field promotion? Why?

"I would also like to announce that we are leading a last ditch assault on the main battlegroup. I will pilot the lead squadron, and we will try to divert their attention from the transports." Lisa just noticed that her father was in a pilot's flight suit, and she was stunned.

"All of you going on these transports will be taken to a remote, secret base that will enable you to start a new resistance elsewhere, and hopefully reclaim our planet from the invaders. Godspeed to you all."

Lisa looked at her father as if she was a scared little girl all over again, but he just smiled and said, "I know this is sudden, but a father has to do what a father has to do." He smiled broadly at her through tear-clouded eyes.

"Father, be careful out there. I'll be waiting for you to return."

"I don't know if I'll be coming back this time, honey."

"Why do you have to lead them?"

"Because I'm the only flag officer left that has any flight experience. And the boys will need a flag officer leading them today."

Lisa stared at her father, a man she loved with her whole heart, who raised her the best way he knew how to, and kissed him one last time upon the cheek, her final goodbye.

AN: A reviewer told me that I forgot to give credit where credit was due in my last chapter. I offer a thousand apologies for my take on Star Wars, and say, in the interest of full disclosure, that Rick's ramming sequence was taken from Babylon 5, episode "And the sky full of stars." Please review on content and quality, folks.


	4. Revenge vs Justice in the crosshairs

Chapter IV 

It had been six months since the transports took them to the secret RDF military installation in Geneva.

Six months of near constant defeat at every turn in their insurrection, six months of stress and anxiety beyond the limits of human endurance. Lisa Hayes had had nearly enough. They needed a victory; needed it badly, and soon.

She stormed angrily out of her meeting with Colonel O'Grady, of the RDF Special Operations Service. O'Grady was jealous that Lisa had gotten promoted the way she had; his career went back over twenty years, dating from before the GCW. He resented her fast promotion, and, therefore, her authority. He said that her plans for the upcoming liberation of Marseilles were "uneducated, incorrect, and potentially destructive towards our own forces."

She stormed down a blind corridor towards the firing range. When her anger would get the better of her, which seemed to be happening more and more often of late, she'd hit the firing range to take out her aggression. The range officer had been noticing her, and how her shooting had progressed, and was suitably impressed. She could place her shots within a half-inch of the intended target at 100 yards, and was able to put two shots in the same place at up to 75 yards.

Her anger hadn't cooled by the time she got to the range, so she paced and thought a bit, trying to calm down. The city was heavily garrisoned, with at least two full divisions of Zentraedi occupation troops, as well as air support in the form of space battlepods. The experimental VT's that they discovered at Geneva Base had been untested so far, and she was reluctant to use untested technology in the face of an overwhelming foe. Her pilots were green, and rookies weren't going to be able to turn back the tide of the onslaught that the Zentraedi forces could unleash.

Their target in the city was the command bunker, and the Governor-General, Zeraal. It was, quite simply, an assassination attempt, but a necessary one; Zeraal was the most brutal of all of Khyron's lieutenants, and his methods were harsh; for every Zentraedi soldier killed, they killed 50 humans. Besides that, the city, itself, was very strategic; free Marseilles and you gain a toehold in the Mediterranean.

Lisa's plan was to send Destroid units marching towards the Zentraedi left flank and send an amphibious infantry assault in from the riverbed to infiltrate the city and take Zeraal out. O'Grady laughed, saying she was too simplistic and could potentially cost the resistance a lot of equipment and men in the long run. He even said, in the presence of other officers, that a woman with a drinking problem like hers shouldn't have been promoted the way she was. She was too shocked to reply when he stumbled, laughing in her face, out of the conference room.

She decided, to hell with it. They would move in on Marseilles in two days.

It was 0100 in Marseilles, darkness was upon the land, and the wind blew a chilly breeze off the Rhone. Admiral Lisa Hayes was leading a detachment of naval infantry into the city. Their job was to assassinate Zeraal, and they didn't have much time. She took her rifle and checked the magazine; the ammo load for this was specifically designed to burrow through a Zentraedi males' head, a diamond-bore projectile with a tip from some Zen material that Miriya had introduced from her world. Lisa could only hope that it would do the damage needed to stop Zeraal.

Dressed all in black, from her boots to her neck, she tugged at her collar to make sure her flesh wasn't exposed and would not show up cleanly under the glare of a flashlight. She hated the black face paint she had to wear, but that reduced the chance of being spotted, as well. Her green eyes burned with an inner fire, a commitment she hadn't felt before. Her every step could be a step towards the liberation of humanity from the yoke of alien oppression, or towards her own funeral pyre. She calmed her breathing and took careful steps toward the building she had to climb.

The brownstone, or, rather, what was left of it, was between two and three stories high, and offered terrific cover for a sniper. Lisa crawled in beside a crumbled wall and took her position. The general's office was just across the alleyway, and the night's lack of moonlight offered her the perfect opportunity for the strike. Her companions took point guard around the building, looking for sentries and reinforcements. The normal squad leader, Lt. Greg Lee, took on the role as Lisa's spotter for her shot. "That's it. He's there. Don't get tense, Admiral. Take your time and line it up; make it count. You'll only have one good chance."

Lisa took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and lined up the crosshairs gradually, gently. She found the nape of his neck, held the shot, and whispered to her spotter, "Call in the cavalry."

At that signal, two divisions of Destroids slammed into the eastern city, along the riverfront, and headed towards the governor's palace. Sirens went off, diverting the enemy infantry, and Zeraal's head turned just slightly, intrigued at the notion that the Humans would dare mount an attack on his city. Lisa sighted in again and fired, holding in place after the bullet left the barrel, and watched as the Zentraedi general moved just enough for the shot to miss. "Oh, shit," she hissed, as Lt. Lee whispered, "Get out. Move it."

Lisa refused to move, so deep was she absorbed in the depth of her failure. "Admiral, ma'am, with all due respect, you have to get out of here."

Lisa still didn't budge, so Lee threw her over his shoulder like a wounded comrade and extracted them both from the building. It was a dark night, and there was a lot of noise, due to the battle raging on the eastern portion of the city. They evaded the pickets and made their way to the river once again, then, inflating a raft, crossed the Rhone and hid on the opposite bank.

It was 0430, but Admiral Lisa Hayes couldn't sleep. She snuck to the edge of the trees, sat down, and stared out across the river. The moonlight danced across her hair as she thought. She couldn't believe she had missed. Her anger and eagerness had gotten the better of her, she knew. Even though she knew it was luck that had made the general move in his chair, she knew that, if she only had a little more patience, she could have gotten him that time. Combined with the futility of the Destroid assault on the city, in which they were badly mauled, they lost any attempt at following up on her miscue.

She was beginning to lose herself in the motion of the waves coming up on the shore when an aide came slowly up to her side. "Um, excuse me, Admiral, but the scouts came across something they think you'd like to see."

"What is it, Major Sheridan?"

"Ma'am, they've found the SDF-1's protoculture matrix. It's showing up on our scanners back in the Alps, near what used to be the Italian border, and there's some unusual readings at the site. We figured you may wish to check them out yourself, once you got some rest."

"How did we fail to detect that before we left?"

"My assumption is, Ma'am, that because it was dormant, it was invisible to our scanners."

"Okay. Let's grab some coffee and get a pilot to take us back in a chopper. I don't want to tell the army that we came all this way for nothing; I'll have Major Chamberlain assume command, in our absence."

"Are you sure you don't need any rest, Admiral?"

"No, I'm fine, Major; I'll go look now."

Her aide shrugged uncertainly, and helped Lisa stand up. "Thanks, Erin."

Erin Sheridan tugged at her fiery red ponytail and smiled. "I used to work on the SDF-1, myself, Admiral. I know how important you considered this matrix is to our cause."

Lisa grinned; that was an understatement. "Major, radio the troops. We're heading back to the Alps again, and tracking down that signal."

"Just what is protoculture, anyway, Admiral?"

Lisa stopped in her tracks. "Major, that information is strictly need-to-know only."

"Yes, Admiral."

Lisa offered her young aide a sly grin; Erin Sheridan couldn't be more than 25, and already a commander of such rank. Then again, Lisa, herself, was barely older than that, and already an Admiral. Such was life in the shrinking military. "But, that never stopped me before, as I'm sure you must be aware."

Her aide simply smirked and chuckled lightly. Lisa gave it no notice and continued anyway. "I guess the best way to describe protoculture is to ask you to define yourself."

"I'm Major Erin Sheridan, Robotech Defense Force, Serial Number…"

"I know that, but that's a label you are given. Beyond that, what are you?"

"A twenty-five year old woman."

"Again, an artificial label. What are you?"

"A human?" By now, her aide was very confused.

"No, no. These labels we give ourselves, and others give us, are like boxes. Open all the boxes up, one inside the other, on down, and what is left inside them?"

"I don't quite get what you're saying, Admiral."

"Nothing is left when we open that last box, Erin," Lisa said as they started hiking towards the chopper's landing pad. "Except the empty space, which is an energy all its own. And what that energy is, is called protoculture. It is the energy, the matter, which makes up all things in the universe. The matrix that we had on the SDF-1 was the last known conversion generator, which could transform protoculture into pure energy. If the Zentraedi get their hands on the matrix again, and return it to the hands of the Robotech Masters, the two of them together could form a scourge that will make Dolza's fleet pale by comparison."

"And what is their ultimate goal, Admiral," Erin asked.

"That, I don't know," Lisa admitted frankly. "But the mere thought of it scares me senseless."

"We'll find it and defend it, Admiral. We'll do it," Major Sheridan said reassuringly.

"I hope so; we don't have nearly the necessary amount of forces to do it with, and we're stretched thin as it is," she replied, climbing into the chopper.

Erin didn't have a reply for her as they flew off in silence, with the dawn breaking slowly all around them.

(AN: sorry for the delay in posting; wasn't letting me cut directly to the RT/Macross page anymore (apparently, they upgraded or revamped their listing procedures) but I finished this chapter a week or two ago, and the next one just last weekend. So, please, review and enjoy!)


	5. The mountain climbers

Chapter V 

The mountainside was chilly, but that was to be expected.

The bright sun glared off the snow and nearly blinded the two lone figures on the slopes. Fortunately, they both were wearing sunglasses. Lisa looked down at her map and frowned. "You said the matrix site was here, Erin."

Erin frowned even harder. "It is, Admiral. The entrance is just around the next bend."

"Good, I was beginning to think that we got lost or something."

The mouth of the cave was surrounded by a green glow, and Lisa stopped short of the energy field. "Is it safe to pass through?"

"I haven't the faintest idea."

Lisa hefted a snowball and threw it at the strange portal; it went through without a problem. She inched cautiously towards the door, then, swiftly, hurled her body through the green energy portal, just in case there was a laser security system involved. Erin did the same, landing beside her in a heap.

When they hit the wall and landed, Lisa scanned the room and saw the computer console of the matrix interface light up. She scanned the controls visually, looking for anything out of the ordinary. Nothing presented itself, so she typed in the command for verbal interface. "Computer, bring energy output up to half level. Authorization password, 'Peekaboo'."

The lights went up, and the heat came on. Lisa took a look around the room, her hot breath leaving clouds of white mist every time she exhaled. The room temperature had increased, but not by much; it'd take time for the heating system to get up to full strength. But, at least, the lights would show what the room looked like, and that appearance took Lisa's breath away.

The room was just like the engine room onboard the SDF-1; Lisa had to fight off ghosts just by looking around the room. Apparently, the SDF-1 engine room had ejected before impact with whatever had destroyed it, and sent the room down to Earth. It went into shutdown mode before it entered the atmosphere, but the room's occupants were not able to escape before the separation. There were several crewmembers strewn across the floor, and some bent over their consoles. Dr. Lang, himself, was found immobile at his computer; Lisa timidly felt for a pulse and confirmed he was dead.

She glided over towards the chief engineer's booth, guiding Lang respectfully and gently out of his chair, and started scrolling through the display screen. The matrix was, undoubtedly, very active, and processing the energy for use to power up the room she was in. The generator was still capable of powering a large base, like the SDF-1, or a similarly sized, earthbound base.

Erin exhaled slowly. "This place gives me the chills, Admiral."

"The heat will be online shortly," Lisa noted distractedly, trying to fight the chills as well.

"I'll take a peek around, see what else this place has to offer," Erin said.

"Go ahead," Lisa said, returning her full attention to the screen in front of her. The startup sequence was proceeding without any problems, but something in the room made her hair stand up on end, like her funny bone was hit all over her body. A familiar footstep came up from behind her, and a familiar voice echoed in her ears before the void claimed her.

"Lisa, thank God it's you! Are you alright?"

When she finally came to, she was staring up into the baby-blue eyes of none other than Rick Hunter. She held her forehead, hoping that whatever concussion she had sustained would go away and make the room stop spinning. Rick, or the apparition of Rick, was offering her a swig from a canteen, and she reached out gingerly to accept a sip. It was real, after all, she decided, and took a long pull at the water within. The cold liquid sank to the pit of her stomach and seemed to revitalize her. "Is…is that really…you, Rick," she stammered out, caressing his cheek.

"Yes, Lisa, it's me," he replied.

"But, but I saw you die! Your fighter crashed into Dolza's ship! Max said you were dead," she started crying, hysterically.

Rick tried to soothe her, embracing her tightly and drying her tears on his shoulder. "I can only tell you what I saw happening, Lisa; I can't offer any explanation of what happened other than that."

Lisa leaned against the wall, stifling a few errant sobs, and nodded for him to begin his story.

"Well, it was bad, Lisa, very bad. I'm sure that you knew the odds, because you probably had all the monitors you could ever stand to watch keeping an eye on the battle. I was leading a flying wedge charge through a group of Zentraedi battlecruisers when the call came in that a hole had been exposed in Dolza's ship. I was reorienting myself towards it when a large laser blast knocked me in all directions at once. It also destroyed the guard fighters in my immediate area. I looked at my diagnostics; all systems were down, and the power plant was reaching critical mass, so I gave command to Max, targeted the cruiser, and set for full velocity ram. I guess the acceleration hit me; I blacked out and don't remember anything after that."

Lisa sat, wide-eyed, through his story, and then shook her head. "So you don't remember how you got here?"

"No, I don't. I try to, and it gives me these episodes of vertigo and nausea."

She looked at his face and head; there were scratches and cuts, which she assumed was from broken glass, and he had a huge shiner under his left eye. "Oh, my God, Rick, you're injured! How'd this happen?"

"Again, Lisa, I don't remember. At least, not the nice little shiner I have. The cuts, I believe, are from the busted cockpit; right before I blacked out, I remember hitting something on Dolza's ship. Other than that, I'm the picture of health."

Something in the back of Lisa's mind didn't exactly trust everything she was seeing, but exhaustion overcame her, and she didn't mind, for she was back in the arms of the man she loved.


	6. Love and war, war and peace

Chapter VI 

Rick swatted at the air, trying to swipe the sunshine from his face like it was an annoying insect. To his mild annoyance, the sunshine still shone in his face, forcing him to blink rapidly, try to clear his mind, and wake up. He looked over the face that lay in front of him and smiled. The sunshine cascaded off the highlights in her reddish-brown hair, and highlighted the features of her face. Yes, indeed, Lisa Hayes was the one true love of his life, and it only took a near-death experience to learn that and come to grips with it. Suddenly, a shadow crossed the sunlight, and Rick thought it was good, because it kept the sun out of his face.

Just as that thought crossed his mind, however, his mind began swimming with nausea and vertigo. The next thing he knew was darkness.

Rick came to on a bunk a prison cell, barely aware of his surroundings because of the pounding pain in his head. The walls of his chest felt like a welding torch was firing full blast at his lungs and ribcage, and was having difficulty breathing. He sat up and rolled to sit unsteadily against the edge of the thin cot that was bolted to the floor of the cell they threw him in. The walls were solid stone, with a wire mesh window about eye level against the far wall, which were reinforced by thick iron bars beyond it. The door seemed to be made of heavy-gauge solid metal of some type; he was guessing steel, but wasn't entirely certain. It was painted with an assortment of pits and dents and scorches that a door accumulates over its normal lifespan.

Well. It seemed that wherever he was, he had no choice but to enjoy the local hospitality.

The door started to budge from without, so he lay back on the cot and feigned sleep. A uniformed escort stepped through the door, stood at attention.

"Attention, Admiral on deck!"

Rick stood slowly on deck, shuffled to attention, and snapped a crisp salute.

Admiral Lisa Hayes entered the room, returning the salute. "At ease, Commander."

"Permission to speak freely, Admiral?"

"Granted," Lisa replied wearily.

"What in the holy hell is going on here, Lisa?"

"Our scanners picked up some anomalies in your bloodstream, Rick. While you were asleep, your skin started to turn black around your eyes, which then started to spread across your face. I gave you a sedative, and they medevacked you to our base."

"Ah, I never knew what Walter Reed looked like on the inside," Rick snarled back.

Lisa involuntarily took a step backwards. "I asked them to put you in the best facility, for close observation, but it appears that Gen. O'Grady countermanded them."

"O'Grady? Gee, if they made him a general, I wonder if he found his rank insignia at the bottom of a Cracker Jacks box."

"I'll see what I can do, Rick; I don't know why they've put you in this cell," Lisa said, awash in confusion and disdain for her associate officers.

"I don't have time, Admiral, I need to be back out there at the front, leading men into combat!"

Lisa threw up her hands in frustration. "Dammit, Rick! How can you be so calm about this? How do I even know you're who you say you are? You were declared dead 5 months ago!"

Rick looked into his hands and grimaced in frustration. "Lisa, I can't make you believe what I say, or believe I am who I say I am. I don't know what's going on inside me, or what's going on anymore. Where's your father, for example? And how did you get promoted so fast?"

Lisa looked at him in a blinding mixture of rage, confusion, and pain. "You mean to tell me you don't know what happened? To my father? To Captain Gloval, to our friends on the SDF-1? To the very human race you're a part of?"

"I'm serious, Lisa, I don't know what happened."

Lisa bit her lip in thought for a moment, to force the tears back, and started, "After you rammed your fighter into Dolza's ship, Max took the fighter fleet in a spearhead to follow your wake into the gap. The SDF-1 was taken out by a few battlepods that crashed through its screens, but it took out Dolza's ship with it when it blew. Between Khyron's attack and the sacrifice of Skull Squadron, we lost over 75 of our active military divisions on the Line. Then, my father…"

She choked on her tears and looked faraway for a moment or two, then continued. "Dad assembled about twenty fighters and took off towards the only remaining Zentraedi cruiser, the _Kharfoux_. In typical Zentraedi overkill fashion, they launched three hundred pods at the base. Our pilots had to distract the incoming battlepods from killing off the survivors left at Alaska Base. Dad led the fighters into the thick of the fray; the pilots he led turned the sky into a junkyard before they were taken down, fighting, one by one.

"It was only a matter of time till the law of averages caught up with him, and he made them fight for every inch of sky they took. But in the end, when they tried to overwhelm him, he hit the self-destruct button and exploded the mini nuke he had installed for just that occasion, which took out all the remaining pods in the airspace around us, enabling us to get to safety."

Rick looked at her, the woman he loved, and could almost feel the immense physical pain her grief was causing her. But he had to refrain from embracing her; he knew it was a breach of etiquette, and also, there were probably surveillance cameras watching him, just begging to give O'Grady the excuse he needed to declare Rick a danger to others; if he embraced Lisa, O'Grady could then say he had attacked her instead, and edit the tape appropriately at his court-martial.

"So, how bad is the situation," he asked, numbly.

"Pretty bad," Lisa replied. "Quite aside from our status in tactical terms, _you_ seem to have unidentified entities swimming in your bloodstream. We have no idea what these things are, but you look like the recruiting poster for the Zentraedi Zombie Brigades. O'Grady told me to give you all this information because I'm about the only face around here he thinks you'd trust right after your ordeal, but you'll be examined by a Doctor Landerman at 1600. So you have two hours to eat, shave, take a nap, and get ready for his examination."

"Lisa, do _you_ believe it's really me?"

She looked at the far wall and seemed lost in thought for several moments.

"You know, after my mother died, I never thought I'd get close to anyone ever again. I loved my father, Rick, I truly did, but his duties and his personality always drove us apart when he tried to get closer to me," she said, trying to fight tears.

"I withdrew into myself, always convinced that every man I'd get involved with would die on me or be wrong in some way. I had locked myself off from everyone. Even Riber. I loved him, but I still held a part of me back from him, because, as much as I loved him, there was always a bit of distrust with him. Nothing against him personally, but always a lack of trust in people I let get close to me, and after my father's distancing himself from me, I felt no man could ever truly love me and accept me as anything more than a little girl from a broken home.

"I never knew anything except drill, precision, and parade; after a while, it ground my pain and discomfort into submission, and, in time, it became completely second-nature. I lived for work, and nothing else; that's how I became a senior officer at such a young age. But you changed me, Rick; gave me something to live for and hope for besides a high rank, pension, and full military honors at my graveside."

She couldn't fight the tears any longer, so she let them streak down her face as she spoke. "I was filled with your love, and my love for you, to the point where it was like raw energy making me run. And when I saw your fighter explode over the Earth, my heart shattered into a million bits, and I went back to the woman I was before, full of drive and mindless devotion to duty. And now you're back, and I don't know what to think anymore. All I know is that I love you, and I'm breaking apart inside, because you've changed somehow, and I can't help you. You are the same man I love, but you're different, and it scares me to death that I can't find out what that difference is," she said, before the hysterical crying overtook her.

"Lisa," Rick stammered fast, but she cut him off, drying her tears and straightening herself up.

"Doctor Landerman will examine you in a few hours; get your sleep and I'll have them send some food for you to eat," she said, coldly and professionally, as she left the cell, fighting to keep her voice calm and natural, and resisting the urge to run as if some demon was following her. The door closed with a clang, and the lock clicked. Then the lights went out.


	7. Revelations and Choices

Chapter VII Rick stretched out on his bunk, arms folded behind his head, his eyes dancing on the knife's edge between reality and surreal dreamland. His conscious mind was too tired to contemplate anything, but his subconscious started wandering back through his memories as he tried to figure out what had happened. 

He thought back to the battle that led to his current situation. When they took off and flew against the Zentraedi armada, they had no idea how difficult it would be, how many people would die in that fight. In retrospect, he probably could have instructed his junior officers to stay calm, reinforce the need for strict radio discipline and trigger control. But his regrets couldn't change the past, or bring back the lives of the men and women lost under his command that day, so he cut himself off from such useless ponderings and turned his attention towards his immediate predicament.

He remembered hitting the afterburners and rocketing towards the Zentraedi flagship, autopilot coordinates locked in on the lower left quadrant of the behemoth warship. He had braced himself against the cockpit and resigned himself to his fate, to be merely a splattered bug on the Zentraedi mothership's neatly painted exterior. All of a sudden, he recalled a bluish-green stream of energy enveloping his cockpit and sealing him against his doom. The fighter mashed against the mothership, but Rick could see it all from the outside, in a spot in time that was only, in reality, a split second, but what had seemed to be taking place in super slow motion; like a train wreck, he remembered every crunch line, every crack in the cockpit glass, every pit and crease, as if it were happening again, right before his eyes.

He had loved that plane; after Roy's death, it had been the greatest joy in his life. Minmei had, until recently, been a pleasant distraction at best, and he hadn't told Lisa exactly how he felt towards her, so their relationship was at best an unresolved issue to them both. In fact, did he even know how he felt toward her, or was he deluding himself into thinking he knew all the answers?

In any event, he then saw his beloved fighter crash into the Zentraedi flagship, his body battered within, broken and thrown about, but he felt as if he witnessed it from outside his body, at a distance from the crash of about 100 yards. He looked at the glow around him, and asked, "What is happening to me?"

_You're surrounded by Protoculture_, a voice whispered seductively in his head.

"Protoculture? I thought that was what Micronian culture was in relation to the Zentraedi culture."

That's not quite true, Rick. That's merely the overtly physical manifestation of Protoculture. Protoculture is life, itself. It is the universe, made manifest, trying to figure itself out. Trying to figure you out, as well.

"What do you mean, figure me out?"

You are a mass of contradictions. Strong and brave one minute, you are weak, cowardly, and adolescent the next. Your feelings of love and compassion are mixed between two women, and your feelings are mixed between acting to defend those you love and wanting to not fight ever again. Tell me, Rick, now, at the end, what do you want?

"I want to live," he said simply. "They cannot fight the Zentraedi without me, I need to be there for them."

What are you living for? You cannot simply live because you fear death; that's a cheat and being dishonest with yourself. And you cannot cling to life for fear of what will happen without you; that is not being honest with yourself. Answer straight, Rick. If, now, at the end of your life, you were to be granted the opportunity to continue living, what reason should you be granted it for?

Rick remained silent, unsure of what to say or do. He wanted to show Lisa how he loved her, cared for her, needed her, but didn't know if that was a sufficient reason for the voice that questioned him. "I want to live, because there is one whom I love above all others, whom I would forsake all others for, and dedicate my life to. If I died, she would be inconsolable."

_Do you truly love her?_

"Yes, I do."

Willing to forsake all others? Do anything and everything required protecting her?

"Yes, I would."

_Would you die in her defense?_

Rick coughed, his breath wheezing out of him in an instant. He had never thought about death in the specific. When it came right down to it, dying for a cause that is larger than oneself is a lot more abstract and distant than the possibility of dying for the protection of a loved one. "Yes, I would."

_Then your heart is pure and your will is strong; we will send you back to the one who loves you more than life itself. We will merge with you, watch over you along the way, and assist you should you need it. Our power is your own, and we shall see life as you live it, the way our lives and experiences will be seen in your eyes. Your body will be the vessel for the remnants of our ancient storehouses of knowledge and energy. _

"What? What are you talking about?"

Sleep now, Rick Hunter, and all will be slowly revealed to you. 

Rick awoke with a start, and his senses were flush with data.

The lights were still unlit, but he saw the room and all its details as if it were under the brightest sun. He was alone, but he heard voices from down the hall as if they were standing next to him. He wondered for a moment what had come over him, and then he knew the answer:

The Protoculture Matrix had bonded to him, body and soul, for whatever purposes they had intended. And he knew, somehow, in his heart, that he would do whatever it took to protect and enhance the Matrix, for it would prove to be a boon for all mankind. How he knew that, he wasn't certain, but it was no less true, to his mind.

AN: Sorry about the delay, I had a MAJOR case of writer's block. Here is the next chapter in the story, and I hope you enjoy it. May update soon, if I can get the inspiration, aka, reviews. hehehe


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